So here I am, sitting in my little bungalow as a surprise rainstorm thunders outside, cooling the air and giving me an excuse to sit down and share some thoughts on what’s it like to settle into a new country. 

And I’m sure it’s no surprise that the country is Thailand. 

It was a little over two years ago, that I arrived in Thailand. Soaking in the warmth, the water, the food and the people, I said to myself, “I could live here”. So that bit of prophecy has come to pass. 

Of course, travel is still in my bones. In March I’m heading to New Zealand’s south island for a month. Then this fall, Bhutan and Nepal. Next year is still in the planning stages, but trust me there are other countries I plan on seeing. But how sweet is it to have a home to come back to — to rest and recuperate. Luckily Thailand is a great launching pad to so many great places to visit.

So what’s it like making a home in a foreign land?

First of all I have to say I was ready for this. It’s giving me a breather. I get to slow down even more and have time to dive into another culture. Not just race around for a few weeks. Who has that luxury? Can you imagine if we all did that at least once in our lives? The whole idea of “us and them” may just start to crumble. 

I’m living in Koh Samui.

It’s a lovely little island (though not too little) in the Gulf of Thailand, Southeast of Bangkok. It has an International airport and a decent selection of restaurants and culture. Being popular with tourists it’s become one of the more expensive places in Thailand, but by western standards it’s still cheap. It’s a popular destination for people from around the world. I see mostly Europeans here, unlike in Phuket where I saw mostly Russians and a few Chinese and Indians. I hate to say it, but everyone does — the Russians have not been a good influence on Thailand. Even though I’ve met a few very sweet Russians, they mostly stay by themselves, are not particularly friendly and have drastically driven up the prices. Luckily, Samui has been spared.

Samui is also where my girlfriend Phatzy lives. I’m staying with her in her tiny bungalow. I was a bit hesitant at first not to have my own place, but thought I’d give it a try.  She lives simply, a bit too simply for me, so I’ve added some western touches to her little house — like a decent fridge, shelving to open up the kitchen and a table that I can write on. She lives in a little community of eight other bungalows. I’ve gotten to know the other folks — a collection of mostly Thai’s and their Farang boyfriends. It’s nice having other people around to talk with— unlike my previous Airbnb’s that tend to be more isolated. 

Since I have a home and a little extra room, I’ve bought a few things for myself —  knowing that none of it has to fit into my carry-on. I’ve bought a few shirts, some shoes and some boxing gloves. Sounds like nothing, but after four years of living out of a suitcase these little additions are fun to have.

I’ve also set up a little kitchen and bought some knives. I now can make salads for lunch. You can only imagine how sick I am of eating all my meals in restaurants. Even though my kitchen is small (one burner), I’m learning how to cook Thai food. Phatzy has been a great teacher . 

Some of my attempts at Thai food.

I just got my retirement visa. I can now stay for one year (before renewing). It’s also not an understatement to say that because my daughter Summer just got her long term visa was a motivating factor I got mine.

Having family close is heaven. 

I’ve enjoy exploring other regions of Thailand — Chiang Mai, Pai, Phuket, Krabi and of course, Bangkok. And many other islands and regions are on my list. There is a lot of country to explore. Though, Chiang Mai (outside of the burning season) is a favorite of mine. I could see living there.

I’m setting up a routine. Breathwork and meditation in the morning. Muay Thai after that. I’ll throw in a few massages every week. I read and listen to books and podcasts. I take naps. At night we’ll either walk to one of the local restaurants or find someplace new. It’s a simple life. It keeps me in the moment. Away from America. Away from the culture that made me who I am.

I am curious where this all will lead.

Getting to know Phatzy has been another new experience for me. I’ve had many relationships, but never with someone from another culture and who speaks another language. Her english is good, but that doesn’t mean we always understand each other. I’ve gotten sensitive to her subtle blank expression… “Did you understand what I just said?” She shyly shakes her head. I’ll then repeat myself, making it simpler. And you can forget about telling a joke. They rarely translate. LOL. 

I haven’t met many new people and no new friends yet. Like any new place, it’ll take time.

I am getting to know Thai culture and the people. Thai’s are friendly. They smile a lot. They are very accommodating to other cultures. Their king is almost a deity (even though he lives in Germany). If you disrespect him in public, you can be put in prison. To many younger Thai’s, especially in Bangkok, this makes no sense and is a source of conflict. Thailand is also a military dictatorship. They came to power in 2014 after overthrowing an elected civilian government. There are still elections, but the military must approve of all decisions — another source of conflict with the younger generation. Much of its culture and religion has been borrowed over the centuries from its surrounding neighbors of Laos, Burma and Cambodia. Interestingly, Thailand is the only Southeast Asian nation never to be colonized by a Western power.

On the other side of the coin, Thai’s are known to be a bit lazy. Maybe it’s just their laid back nature. Pretty much whenever you visit a restaurant, the cooks and the service staff are all from Miramar/Burma. Like many immigrants, they work hard (and cheap). And they speak English, not Thai.

I am surrendering to the Thai way of doing things. I am not the boss here. It’s up to me to adapt. The locals take their time. It can take ages to get served at a restaurant. It’s a scooter culture and people use their bikes in many unexpected ways. You have to pay attention. I wear a helmet, but most people don’t. This isn’t just the locals. The tourists don’t wear them either. Like I said, you have to pay attention. 

Without a car, we make due with our scooters. Phatzy is a pro at loading them up.

This whole experience has been a bit strange. Sometimes I’m disoriented. Sometimes I feel like I don’t belong. But I often pinch myself as I glide along in my scooter, admiring the jungles and beaches and think how lucky I am. I am healthy.  More accurately, I’m thriving. The key word is adaptation. Being flexible. Surrendering.  Embracing everything that is new in my life.

I don’t know how long this will be my home. I try not to think about it. So I stay in the moment and enjoy my new life now.

What more could you ask for? 

Thank you for reading.