Bad Days
I have the perfect life. Right? Traveling the world, immersing myself into new and exciting cultures. Seeing sights that most of us have only seen in pictures. Meeting people, with their stories to tell. And the food… where do I start? I’m not going to argue. It’s a great life.
Until it isn’t.
Because amidst the joy, there are times when I wake up on a hard bed, maybe after a fitful night of sleep. In a dreary room. Feeling disoriented, disconnected. Maybe a hollowness in my stomach. Feeling lost, unmotivated and maybe a little homesick. Wishing I was back in the familiar. My old routines. Friends I could easily call and connect with.
I ask myself. “Where am I? What the hell am I doing?” Depression sets in. Add a little loneliness. I feel bad.
I remind myself that it isn’t necessarily the travel. It’s happened before. When I lived in LA. And Hawaii. Really every place I’ve ever lived.
I’m sure you recognize it too. It’s part of the human condition. It doesn’t matter where you live or what you’re doing. It can happen even when things are going well. A new baby. A new marriage. A new house. A new job. All the same. Or worse if you lose somebody or something dear to you… the list goes on.
The one good thing about getting older is that I’ve had a chance to observe myself during these downstrokes. Because I really want to understand its dynamics. And most importantly find a way to get out of it.
Let’s face it. The darkness is most often because we are focusing on the past. Regret? You bet. Or worrying about the future. Shit happens, right? You’ve heard this a million times, but without a doubt, focusing on the present that is the key.
How do you do that?
I’ve come up with some tricks. And if you don’t mind, I thought I’d share them with you. Maybe you have your own, which is good. But maybe you’re open to some ideas that you might want to try to lift yourself out of that darkness — and get back to ground zero so you can move on with your life and put it behind you.
What to do.
1. I think the first and most important thing to do when this happens, is to to accept it. Not fight it. (Better yet, embrace it.) Scary, yes. Certainly uncomfortable. But like everything in life, it will eventually go away. It’s called impermanence. Nothing lasts. Nothing. And the truth is, if we seize this idea, you may find great power. Power you didn’t know you had.
Because life is a flow. You can’t control what comes your way. Or how you feel when you wake up. But you can control how you react. You can hold on and fight, or you can let go and watch the demons float away. Like magic.
2. Breathe. Take some deep ones. Probably best to lie down. Start slow, in your belly. Then bring the air up into your chest. Breath is life, so take it in. Hold for a beat, then slowly exhale. All the way. And relax.
Continue this for a few minutes. Find your rhythm. Don’t fight it. Maybe put on some soothing music.
Try holding your breath at the bottom of the exhale — the space between your breaths. The empty room where it all begins. Hold as long as you can (don’t force it). Then Inhale and relax. Try repeating this series a few more times. Each time go deeper. Hold longer. Focus on your breath. If your mind wanders, bring it back. No need to struggle.
Now open your eyes. Look around. Sit with it.
3. Now ask yourself ‘What am I grateful for?’ Gratitude is an amazing healer. It doesn’t have to be much. You can be grateful for having a house to sleep in. Or clothes to wear. Or having friends. Or food, or heck, be grateful to just be alive. As you focus on this, watch the negativity float away — because it has no anchor to hold onto.
4. Now it’s time to get moving. Put one foot in front of the other and do something. Make it simple. How about breakfast? Maybe go for a walk. Call a friend. The important thing is to allow an action to take your focus. Go out and fill your mind with something outside of yourself. Nature is great. One of the best.
Feel better. I bet you do.
Remember not to force any of this. Let it unfold. Don’t fight it. Give yourself time.
And don’t forget to give yourself thanks for having the strength and courage to move on.
Good luck. Have a great day today. Wherever in the world you are.
